Soap Opera Day
I abhor drama; I generally do whatever I can to avoid it. But in the moments when I do find myself caught up in situations wherein logic and reason are not prevalent factors, I find it’s best to seek the humorous side of things.
Take, for example, a recent situation in which a couple of girls were being particularly dramatic: crying, walking away (then coming back with strong words), and generally making a scene about nothing. I’ll now share a brief anecdote with you all, in the first person.
I sat in a chair in the entrance of a club. Everyone seemed to be upset about something; I’d since, through apathy, lost track of who was currently angry at who. One thing was for sure – everyone was drunk, not least the girl whom I had apparently sorely wronged in some way. The girl who Barbara was with was apparently also somewhat dissatisfied with the way things were going.
Eva had the wonderful idea that taking the purse of one of the other girls and acting as if it were lost, and then having one of us give it back to her after she’d panicked for a while would be a good catalyst with which to initiate positive change to the situation. Quite obviously – this was one of the contributing factors as to why I was currently smugly enjoying the soap opera that was unfolding in front of me.
Some random local guy was sitting across from me, looking a bit bored. I gave him a cigarette – “Hey man – don’t worry about this stuff, we’re all actors, there are some hidden cameras, this is the latest style of soap opera.” He gave me a slight look of disbelief before chuckling to himself.
The scene continued to unfold, some of the participants began to take others off to have “private” talks about the situation, who they were currently angry with, or whatever. I even joined in the fun from time to time, dramatically shouting “why! why are you being like this? I love you!!!”, “don’t leave me!” and so on. Minutes passed, and I shared another cigarette with the stranger across from me in the chair. A female actress approached my place of seating, and demanded the attention that I’m sure she felt that she deserved from me. She then proceeded to explain why we were all to be treated to such a delightful performance. I’m happy to say that the stranger agreed with me, and told her that she and the other girls were being silly.
It was getting late and I needed to get home; an idea struck me.
“Give me ten kuai if the girl over there hits me in the next 5 minutes, if I don’t get hit, I’ll give you ten.”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“Sure.”
I shook hands with the stranger and tossed my cigarette to the ground. I was laughing quite hard at this point, but I put on my best “serious face” and approached the girl. She proceeded to cry, and I repeated what I’d told her earlier. Alas – she did not hit me; perhaps she’d overheard my bet, and was scornfully denying me of ten kuai. In disappointment, I placed ten kuai in the hand of the stranger, and was on my way home with Dunfield and Barbara within a few seconds.
Obviously, that’s a somewhat condensed version of the story, but I hope you get the picture. Upon arriving at my house (with the girls, strangely enough), more buffoonery ensued. Camouflage and Airsoft guns were involved. I may post pictures later.
