Well – only one sad and thin post for February. Terrible show of commitment and dedication on my part

I’ll re-liven things with some classic Scampi… enjoy:

Watch Scampi on Weebls Stuff

Recently, a hedge fund manager who posted gains of something like 900% decided to call it quits; he left us with a most excellent farewell letter that I think is worth of mention:

Today I write not to gloat. Given the pain that nearly everyone is experiencing, that would be entirely inappropriate. Nor am I writing to make further predictions, as most of my forecasts in previous letters have unfolded or are in the process of unfolding. Instead, I am writing to say goodbye.

Recently, on the front page of Section C of the Wall Street Journal, a hedge fund manager who was also closing up shop (a $300 million fund), was quoted as saying, “What I have learned about the hedge fund business is that I hate it.” I could not agree more with that statement. I was in this game for the money. The low hanging fruit, i.e. idiots whose parents paid for prep school, Yale, and then the Harvard MBA, was there for the taking. These people who were (often) truly not worthy of the education they received (or supposedly received) rose to the top of companies such as AIG, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers and all levels of our government. All of this behavior supporting the Aristocracy, only ended up making it easier for me to find people stupid enough to take the other side of my trades. God bless America.

There are far too many people for me to sincerely thank for my success. However, I do not want to sound like a Hollywood actor accepting an award. The money was reward enough. Furthermore, the endless list those deserving thanks know who they are.

I will no longer manage money for other people or institutions. I have enough of my own wealth to manage. Some people, who think they have arrived at a reasonable estimate of my net worth, might be surprised that I would call it quits with such a small war chest. That is fine; I am content with my rewards. Moreover, I will let others try to amass nine, ten or eleven figure net worths. Meanwhile, their lives suck. Appointments back to back, booked solid for the next three months, they look forward to their two week vacation in January during which they will likely be glued to their Blackberries or other such devices. What is the point? They will all be forgotten in fifty years anyway. Steve Balmer, Steven Cohen, and Larry Ellison will all be forgotten. I do not understand the legacy thing. Nearly everyone will be forgotten. Give up on leaving your mark. Throw the Blackberry away and enjoy life.

So this is it. With all due respect, I am dropping out. Please do not expect any type of reply to emails or voicemails within normal time frames or at all. Andy Springer and his company will be handling the dissolution of the fund. And don’t worry about my employees, they were always employed by Mr. Springer’s company and only one (who has been well-rewarded) will lose his job.

I have no interest in any deals in which anyone would like me to participate. I truly do not have a strong opinion about any market right now, other than to say that things will continue to get worse for some time, probably years. I am content sitting on the sidelines and waiting. After all, sitting and waiting is how we made money from the subprime debacle. I now have time to repair my health, which was destroyed by the stress I layered onto myself over the past two years, as well as my entire life — where I had to compete for spaces in universities and graduate schools, jobs and assets under management — with those who had all the advantages (rich parents) that I did not. May meritocracy be part of a new form of government, which needs to be established.

On the issue of the U.S. Government, I would like to make a modest proposal. First, I point out the obvious flaws, whereby legislation was repeatedly brought forth to Congress over the past eight years, which would have reigned in the predatory lending practices of now mostly defunct institutions. These institutions regularly filled the coffers of both parties in return for voting down all of this legislation designed to protect the common citizen. This is an outrage, yet no one seems to know or care about it. Since Thomas Jefferson and Adam Smith passed, I would argue that there has been a dearth of worthy philosophers in this country, at least ones focused on improving government. Capitalism worked for two hundred years, but times change, and systems become corrupt. George Soros, a man of staggering wealth, has stated that he would like to be remembered as a philosopher. My suggestion is that this great man start and sponsor a forum for great minds to come together to create a new system of government that truly represents the common man’s interest, while at the same time creating rewards great enough to attract the best and brightest minds to serve in government roles without having to rely on corruption to further their interests or lifestyles. This forum could be similar to the one used to create the operating system, Linux, which competes with Microsoft’s near monopoly. I believe there is an answer, but for now the system is clearly broken.

Lastly, while I still have an audience, I would like to bring attention to an alternative food and energy source. You won’t see it included in BP’s, “Feel good. We are working on sustainable solutions,” television commercials, nor is it mentioned in ADM’s similar commercials. But hemp has been used for at least 5,000 years for cloth and food, as well as just about everything that is produced from petroleum products. Hemp is not marijuana and vice versa. Hemp is the male plant and it grows like a weed, hence the slang term. The original American flag was made of hemp fiber and our Constitution was printed on paper made of hemp. It was used as recently as World War II by the U.S. Government, and then promptly made illegal after the war was won. At a time when rhetoric is flying about becoming more self-sufficient in terms of energy, why is it illegal to grow this plant in this country? Ah, the female. The evil female plant — marijuana. It gets you high, it makes you laugh, it does not produce a hangover. Unlike alcohol, it does not result in bar fights or wife beating. So, why is this innocuous plant illegal? Is it a gateway drug? No, that would be alcohol, which is so heavily advertised in this country. My only conclusion as to why it is illegal, is that Corporate America, which owns Congress, would rather sell you Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax and other additive drugs, than allow you to grow a plant in your home without some of the profits going into their coffers. This policy is ludicrous. It has surely contributed to our dependency on foreign energy sources. Our policies have other countries literally laughing at our stupidity, most notably Canada, as well as several European nations (both Eastern and Western). You would not know this by paying attention to U.S. media sources though, as they tend not to elaborate on who is laughing at the United States this week. Please people, let’s stop the rhetoric and start thinking about how we can truly become self-sufficient.

With that I say good-bye and good luck.

All the best,

Andrew Lahde

Those of you that belong to my generation should appreciate the beauty in this:

This has been around for quite a while, but I think it’s worth posting for those of you who have yet to be enlightened. Any practising Pastafarian knows the truth about the connection between global warming and pirates. I highly suggest you post your support for this letter to the Kansas School Board.

Either this guy has a terrible skin disease or … I dunno.

From the front page of CNN…

Of course, I thought it might be a brace or something, but it appears to also take up parts of his ear, just as if someone had done a poor job of photoshopping it with the magic wand tool. Perhaps this guy has really fucked up skin, or perhaps we’ll never know.

A rather interesting characteristic of radiation poisoning is a phenomenon known as the “walking ghost phase” – this is a period of relatively good health that follows initially harsh symptoms of fatal level radiation poisoning. Upon conclusion of the walking ghost phase, the poisoned person can look forward to a painful death that is marked by delirium followed by a terminal coma. One of the drawbacks of radiological weapons (such as the neutron bomb) is that upon realizing its sealed fate, a radiation poisoned army would almost certainly fight fanatically during the week or so in which the walking ghost phase occurs.

Learn More:
Wikipedia on Radiation Poisoning

Wikipedia on the Neutron Bomb

This guy is just… better.

Also worth watching:

“Keep an eye out for you, Stingray”
“Yeah – see ya”

My top three search engine keyword referrals:

1. not gracious
2. maha elsamnah
3. fuck barbara porn stories

Nice.

Ranking #4 for “not gracious”:
http://www.google.com/search?num=100&hl=en&newwindow=1&q=not+gracious+&btnG=Search

Ranking #10 for “Maha Elsamnah”:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=maha+elsamnah&btnG=Google+Search

Ranking #10 for “fuck barbara porn stories”:
http://www.google.com/search?num=100&hl=en&newwindow=1&q=fuck+barbara+porn+stories&btnG=Search

verStory.com is permeating the world with its presence, hehehe.

Here’s a nice little jewel that I stumbled upon:

My sister was telling me a story about an M2 she knows who was trying to deliver a baby, but she (the mother) was so fat, that when they spread her legs, they still couldn’t find the vagina. They had to have another med student try with all her might to shove this lady’s fat around so the first med student could get to the vagina and deliver the baby.

I can only hope that you are as scarred for life as I am, and that enough of you view this that I may be considered “normal” relative to the rest of the world population.

I like the style of this restuarant.

For the visually impaired, the caption reads:

Zapata’s 墨西哥餐廳不歡迎妓女，如果你是一個妓女，請努力克制自己不要進入本餐廳及花園，也不要在大門口流連排徊：如果你不確定自己的身份，請向保安求助–他們非常友善。

Zapata’s Mexican Cantina does not sponsor prostitutes at our establishment. If you are a prostitute please refrain from entering our garden or restaurant. If you are unsure whether or not you are a prostitute, please ask one of our friendly security guards to sort it out for you.